Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Here We Go


For the past seven years, I have dedicated my life to being a proud card carrying member of Chabad Lubavitch. I walked away from my life to start a journey that I am not sure I was truly prepared for. When I look back on my journey I have so many good memories. But I also look back and have so many questions. Like why am I doing this? Why am I giving up my life for this? I love Chabad. They saw me and my family when no other Jews would. They helped us learn and gave us a feeling of connection. When I became Lubavitch it felt great. However, as I became a full fledged member my opinion began to change. What the hell was I doing. I mean these people really want me to do this? Wait what I have to do what, your want me to wear what...when I get married I have to do WHAT? All of these questions have been rushing through my head for years and now at age 22 I am going to take the opportunity to answer them...that is before I'm married with ten kids and can't even think of asking such questions.

4 comments:

  1. Good for you, that you are one of a very few, educated, secular, worldly and spiritual women, who have the opportunity to ask these questions and are encouraged to do so, regardless of the outcome or the answers you will formulate...Never let anyone tell you WHAT to do. Not in the name of a god or a movement or even your own spirituality. People have choices, they should exercise them. Movements have needs. They need money and members and to be accepted as mainstream. To what extent and at what cost will a movement, Chabad Lubavitch, the Taliban, Communism, etc, go to further it's own selfish cause. There is a phenomenon call brain-washing, it is a sort of mental manipulation where those who need, are convinced by others that they are needed. It feels good to be needed, to be accepted, unconditionally. But buyer beware. There is always a catch, a commitment. Anything that looks too good to be true, usually is. They wrap their loving arms around you and literally suck you in. Often by the time you realize it, you are married to a man that you do not know, making baby's quicker than a silver bullet can fly, and giving your life to someTHING...is it enough. Will it sustain? Will you lose yourself along the way? Why it feel so good initially? BUYER BEWARE THE UGLY SIDE OF ANY MOVEMENT.

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  2. My only criticism...Chabad is a theology...Lubavitch is a movement. Chabad is a beautiful body of spiritual teaching...Lubavitch is an exclusive club.

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  3. You say tomatoe, I say tomatoe...I think, that what you may mean, and correct me if I am wrong...is that, there is a beauty of Chasidus...that you can embrace, embody and enjoy. Lubavitch IS a theology. Chabad is a movement that is an arm of that theology, and it belies much of the beauty that you were able to live, once you realized how incredibly dogmatic, structured, and unyieldingmit was...You also may feel betrayed by the good work that you did,for the cause, comrade, when you consider the deception.

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  4. Lubavitch is the movement, Chabad is the theology.

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