Monday, December 20, 2010

I Don't Like What I See.

Those readers who know me personally, know what I look like on the outside. And no I am not going to go on about my self confidence issues or that when I look in the mirror I don't see the beauty that everyone else seems to. On the outside I am an ordinary person. I wear jeans, smoke cigarettes, and enjoy the finer things in life. Essentially I am not your normal Crown Heights factory prototype. And I often find that this scares people. They see me an automatically assume I know nothing of the frum world and they don't like what they see. However, it has come to my attention, that being frum is not about what is on the outside, but what is on the inside. One of my close friends told me not to long ago that I am the most chassidish person she knows. WHAT THE HELL ME CHASSIDISH!!! Not possible. But then she explained that although on the outside I am a normal secular girl. On the inside apparently I am Chasidish. This could be because I throw a few random yiddish words around every once in awhile, or because I can zug halacha better then most Gehzee girls.
Don't judge me from the outside...see the inside...see who I really am!


  1. You choose how people see you. People can only judge but what they know. It's ridiculous for you to display yourself as something you're not, then expect the world to see past it.

    Grow up.

  2. C- I am both of these things. I live in both worlds. I don't want to be chasidish at the moment and my never want to be again...I dont know. I dont portray myself as chasidish...all I am saying is that I'm tired of being treated as second class by people who know me because they refuse to see the me they knew for soo many years.

  3. C you clearly missed the point of Lillian's post completely...You appear to have allowed the you whom you hide, to get in the way of what you see. It's a typical crown heights mentality you exude in your comment...Lillian, clearly does not...One cannot choose how people see them, they can only decide for themselves who they are. My response to you, is ouch, just a tad edgy about this, you are. Lillian shows great courage and maturity in allowing herself to live in both worlds...One in which she is ultimately misunderstood by those whose lives are dictated by a blind, closed-minded dogma.