Monday, January 3, 2011

Do Your Boobs Hang Low?

Just the other I was on the train with a group of friends ranting and raving about life. We were on way to go shopping, when the subject of my not so productive dating came up. I say not so productive because I have a history of serial dating. While I have had many relationships...none of them have ever led to the "M" word. I can't say that I am terribly shocked or dissappionted by this. I find it crazy that at the young age of 23, when I should be partying it up and getting drunk...I am worried about getting married. Now in normal society I don't have to worry about this until my 30's. That's right burn your bra, move over June Clever...I am woman hear me roar and I don't need a man to support me so therefore I can marry out of want and not necessity. WRONG. In Bizzaro world I am over the hill. While the majority of my friends were off getting married and having babies...I was not. This led to a series of unhealthy and unproductive relationships. Some lasted longer than others, some were more entertaining than others. The one thing the all had in common...boobs. Yes that's right boobs. Not my boobs, not some other chicks whose boobs are we talking about.
We are talking about my significant others mothers boobs. Yes thats right Mom Boobs. I have recently come to the conclusion that  many of the men I have dated and continue to date are still quite literally on the boob. Yes thats right they still breast feed be it figurative or literal...they are still on the saggy, I had ten kids, I nursed ten kids, do your boobs hang low can you tie them in a bow boobs. They are mommas boys through and through. They would rather give up their own happiness than get off the boob. They would rather give up young firm boobs, for saggy droopy boobs. Why, I am not completely sure, but from and innocent on looker who over heard the conversation on the train in between switching songs in shuffle...maybe Jewish boys just like saggy boobs.

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