Monday, January 17, 2011

Does Your Third Nipple Throw Off Your Center of Gravity?

The other night my really cool friend and I decided to walk to a Gehzee hotspot on Kingston avenue for some hot cocoa. Not to be critical or anything but eight dollars for hot cocoa...that is whack. Not to mention that it was basically instant hot cocoa and well was not really gourmet. But I am not one to complain, if your off balance how could you possibly make hot cocoa. so lets continue. 
We picked up our Gehzee hot cocoa and decided to keep walking. Now as many of you may know there is this whole thing called the Kingston Avenue shuffle. Basically you walk down Kingston Avenue looking at your feet and slamming into random people because you can’t see them. You see, apparently it is more tznius (modest) for a man to slam into a random woman while walking, than it is for him to look at her to avoid slamming into her. Then again this whole slamming into thing could be caused by lack of balance. In any case, this is  the Kingston Avenue shuffle.
So my friend and I were shuffling down the street trying to avoid being knocked over by the over zealous men trying to catch the last minyan at 770. When she spotted someone we just had to see. Now keep in mind we are both in our twenties and really don’t do that school girl giggle when we see a guy...but for some unknown reason tonight was the night to revert back to our teenage years. Let’s just say this guy is worth getting all hot and bothered over (insert sarcasm here). Now my friend was quite sure that it was him, the man of our dreams, the perfect male specimen. I had my doubts. 
We walked casually behind “him” and his posse continuing to shuffle. UHOH, he walked into a store. At this point I was very well convinced that it wasn’t him, but my cool friend was dead set that it was. Why would he be walking into Nosh World. No one and I mean no one goes into Nosh World unless they are little pishers going there to check out members of  the opposite sex who are also pishers. Keep in mind this means that they all sit at tables and pretend not to look at each other, and they God forbid would never actually talk to each other. In any case if Mr. Awesome was in there...we were going in and we were going to embrace our inner pisher!
We walked in and stood by the door to look and see if it was him. Guess what....IT WASN’T! We giggled and I announced “Oh dear lord, that’s not him.” The Mexican cleaning the windows was cracking up. We ran out of the store, thank God we were next to the door. We laughed and continued our balanced shuffle down Kingston Avenue. Sometimes, its nice to go back in it balanced or unbalanced. 

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