Tuesday, January 11, 2011

A Story From A Reader...Don't Assume

This story came to me from a friend/reader of the blog. Here it goes....
Just a few days ago a friend of mine was lucky enough to be the recipient of a few free lunches. Now I am not the type to say no to something free...its engrained in me I'm a Jew. This friend of mine is also a Jew...therefore it must be something in our blood. In any case free things are awesome and free food is even more awesome. Anyway back to the story. So, as this friend of mine was picking up her free lunch coupons, there happened to be two Chasidish women standing behind her in line. One woman looked at the other, and said (in Yiddish, which apparently in the real world is some kind of secret language of Jewish espionage)  "די גרויס פרוי אין די הויזן דאַזאַנט דאַרפֿן צו פרעסס." Basic translation, "The fat woman in the pants doesn't need to FRESS (eat like an animal as opposed to the yiddish word essen which refers to how humans eat). Now my friend speaks Yiddish, and these two holier than though women were in for a surprise. My friend heard and understood the statement. She turned around and look at them and said "איך פֿאַרשטיין אַ ביסל מאַמאַ לאָשען." Basic translation, "I can understand your bullshit." Then she called the two now shocked women "שמאַטע פּעדלאַר." Basic translation, "rag seller," which seems mild in context however, us Yiddish speakers know that its much worse. Because in Yiddish saying something like "I hope your hand gets stuck in a pickle jar," is as bad as putting a curse on someones home. Needless to say the women were embarrassed and my friend got the last laugh.

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